Thursday, June 20, 2013

12 step ?

As I prepare this week for a 2 week respite,vacation,me time,Nanny time,whatever it is,I have been reflecting on this journey.The one thing I noticed..both in my blog,my thoughts,and more importantly my actions,I have actually been following the 12 step program without even knowing it!!! Last night I was packing up some of my dad's things I had never got around too doing, when I came across some of his chips he had received at AA. Along with the serenity prayer and a pamphlet on the 12 step program.We always had the prayer hanging somewhere in the house..and although I did not think I noticed it that much, as I pulled it out of the box, I recited the whole thing from memory.Is it divine intervention...Who knows,But it made me think!! I know I am healing..although very slowly..embracing the fact I am powerless over my Son's addiction..Taken responsibility for actions I thought were helpful,which were not.All part of my recovery process.
Do I believe I will ever get fully recovered..Hell no! I am who I am..His Mamma..BUT I do believe, I will someday ,get to that place where it does not consume every waking hour and my nightmares...

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