Thursday, April 2, 2015

Should Recovery Homes be Charged ?

Ok..Mamma's on a rant !!

I just read an article with the headline" Should Enablers Be Charged With Involuntary Manslaughter ?"
I refuse to link to it and give them more hits then they deserve( as they no doubt, get paid by the number of hits) but the utter absurdity of it makes my blood boil !! Pssst..If you do come across it,don't bother leaving a negative comment on it because it won't be published ( ask me how I know ).
This is a site that is well developed to the eyes..But it is a site that promotes recovery homes..not an educational site on addiction..with facts or scientific based evidence.It is a money maker..Billions, I might add for private enterprise on the backs and lives of OUR children !

The writer of this post gets paid !!!  A person in recovery herself, who early on, developed a following from other parents, reaching out to them for help,Reading their poems,story's posted on every online group or facebook group going.

I'm not going to pick apart the article,I refuse to give them that much attention !!

My purpose is too speak to parents.Please Please educate yourself on Addiction !! Please work on your own recovery ,so leeches like this will NOT take advantage of you..Advantage of your Child who is ill with a disease/disorder..Addiction is not a crime..It is a health issue  !! They don't care about us or our children..They want your money.Do your homework on these sites..these homes that offer false claims..false hope..when your desperate to help your child! There are many good homes out there..Do your homework!!

I'm sure I may have shared this story before,But I'm sharing it again.
A mother confided in me, her family spent 38,000 dollars to send her son to an "Supposedly" upscale rehab for a 28 day stay..Full of promises..Two days in her son left..It was a week before she found out ( her son finally called her..NOT the rehab).When she contacted the place to ask why she wasn't informed..Confidentiality was the reason given!!!!! The reason became quite clear in her next Question,What about any refund due since he only stayed 2 days!! NOPE no refund..It was his choice to leave.Yes he can come back..for another 38,000..his bed that was paid for 28 days) ?..that he left..has been taken. Not bad money they made in 2 days 76,000 dollars !! It was only 1 week into the month.There are many good rehabs,recovery homes,programs out there..Some are free!!! Others a minimum amount..Just do your homework !!

These are people who should be charged with  Manslaughter..Not Involuntary ,as they know EXACTLY what their doing..Ask them for the stats..Ask them how many of their residents are still in recovery after their 28 day stays.They won't share that info..Why ? Because they don't track them..Why ?..Because they don't care..Why ? Because they just want your money!! Why ? Because your Child just didn't want it bad enough..Bull sh*t !!

This Article,( If you hadn't already guessed) Made my stomach sick !! Bullying and Fear mongering at it's finest.To have a broken parent ( just as sick as their child) believe, that they could be charged in the future for enabling.. Sending them into panic mode to one of their homes to be saved....Ludicrous!!! Leaving parents to believe..yet again..It's their fault..BULL !! Most of all.. Shame on these parents selling themselves out to these criminals by writing articles for them !!!!

Please get educated on addiction..Please get yourself well..xoxo                                                                                                                    I'm beginning to really hate that word "Enabler" !!!


  1. Great post!! At least when parents find themselves struggling with an addicted child we know that we have a lot to learn and it is a process. We learn as we go along. Treatment Centres are supposed to be the experts on addiction yet they kick them out for doing things that are characteristic of the very disease they are treating instead of working with them to find out why they are struggling to following the rules. I could go on and on. Thanks for your post!

    1. Agree,It is a process for us all..Feel free to go and on !

  2. Dear Mamma P.
    You urge us to "Please get educated on addiction..Please get yourself well". I believe this is soooo important too! When my daughter was actively using, I was soooo sick, so consumed, but I didn't know where to go to get educated. I didn't know where to get help.. I didn't know what to read, who to trust. I did so many things wrong!!
    Can you recommend any specific books, websites, etc. that we can go to to educate ourselves? Also, how do we become well? I wasn't keen into going to AlAnon or NarAnon meetings, but they did help a little. Reading these blogs have been a God send.
    Thank you so much for everything you do. You have helped me tremendously.

    1. Liz thanks so much for commenting ! Like our children,It's a process,what worked for me may not work for you.However I will share what helped me.First I took a 8 week education class on Addiction.It was offered by our local Addiction Treatment Center and was open to the public also.Call..e-mail..your local Treatment Center.. Community Mental Health.. Community Counselings services..they may offer you info..Many offer Community services free of charge.. I found a family Support group in my area for family's..It has been a savior for me !! I reached out to another Mother..Knowing I wasn't alone was so important !! Online I went to the source..As a nurse I believe Addiction is a disease and thus should treated like any other disease.I went where scientific evidence would be reliable and available..NIDA - .They also have links for family supports online..Look up CRAFT..It is a program for how to parent a child with Addictions..Very practical..non confrontational..non shaming and most of all for tough Love talk..or blaming the parent..I have listed a few books on the sidebar that Far..Clean by David Sheff..Liz it is a process..don't be hard on yourself..don't blame yourself..Recovery Help Desk is an excellent resource for everything..Love this site. I also have a couple fav blogs..They each give me something different..Both are listed on the side bar: 1. " Living in The Shadows on Prince Edward Island" 2. "Addiction Journal".I forced myself to balance my life out..take time out for myself.. Found out online groups for parents on the whole are not a healthy place to be..They are full of judgement and bullying..I learned to respond..not react..I learned my son was sick..not bad..I learned to advocate for him..demand he receive the same treatment anyone else with a chronic disease receives..I slowly started speaking out..I learned I wasn't powerless !! It wasn't one thing in particular..It was all these things combined..I took what I knew was right for me..left the rest..I slowly was adding tools that worked for me..I learned to put MY recovery first..As my Son has to put his first..I learned boundary's..for both myself..and my son..And I stuck to them..I keep my son communication open..I have come out the otherside..But I will never be the same..In some ways..I am so much better..Much stronger..I hope I have helped a wee bit :)

  3. Oh my gosh, you have helped so much! Thank you.. I absolutely love reading the blogs and I read both that you suggest plus a few more. I am learning and will continue to learn. I hate addiction.. hate hate hate it. It is a monster.. a disease of the brain that changed my daughter. Thankfully, she is currently clean and sober due to incarceration, and I pray she will continue on this path when she comes home this summer!

    1. Liz , make sure she has some programming in place when she is,counselling..even a short term recovery home or out patient treatment.They are very vulnerable in making that transition from Jail back into real life.Yes they are free of substances but the brain takes time to heal and the old behaviours and thoughts can come roaring back...I Hate Addiction Also! Positive thoughts for your daughter and you..xo

  4. When people who are addicted get treated with compassion and connection, great things start to happen. Sadly, for a long time there was very little in the way of treatment and people paid a price for that with criminal records and death in the worst cases. Thankfully, more help is available today allowing people to heal from their addictions without the burden of criminal records.