Friday, October 24, 2014

The Terrorist ?

I am no political analyst.. Journalist..member of the FBI..However.. Wednesday's Tragedy on Parliment Hill was NOT a terrorist attack on our Country !!

I have to stay away from the comments sections of news Articles..They put my blood pressure up to dangerous levels. In my quest for information on what was happening in Ottawa..concern for my fellow Canadians and family members..friends who live in Our Nations Capitol..Heartbroken for the young Soldier,who was killed,his family..It led me down many newspaper articles.

Then  a picture popped up of the shooter's mother..Her words broke my heart..Expressing her sympathy to the families..

“Hi, I am writing this note on behalf of my husband and myself.
No words can express the sadness we are feeling at this time. We are so sad that a man lost his life. He has lost everything and he leaves behind a family that must feel nothing but pain and sorrow.
We send our deepest condolences to them although words seem pretty useless. We are both crying for them.
We also wish to apologize for all the pain, fright and chaos he created.
We have no explanation to offer. I am mad at our son, I don’t understand and part of me wants to hate him at this time.
You write that our son was vulnerable, we don’t know, we (he) was lost and did not fit in.
I his mother spoke with him last week over lunch, I had not seen him for over five years before that. So I have very little insight to offer.
We don’t wish to be part of any media circus, we don’t think it will add anything to the conversation. Please respect our privacy although many may not feel we deserve any …
Once again we are so sorry.

The comments section was flooded with hate..before anyone knew the details on exactly who her son was..before... he became the "Terrorist "..The common theme for many..blame the parents..blame our immigration system..Blame everyone..except the shameful changes made to our health care and social system..systemically being destroyed to save money..If you want to place blame..we all need to look inwardly..outwardly..That we would allow this attack on our Health Care system to happen!!

I try very hard never to make a decision..form an opinion.. until I do my homework first..So I began..Who was this terrorist ?

  • He was a Canadian..32 yrs old
  • Born in Quebec
  • A good student
  • After high school began his journey with addiction..with the justice system.
  • Begged a judge to send him to prison to get help for his disease after a failed Robbery..he was released !
  • Mental health assessment stated crack cocaine was his drug of choice..He had addiction issues, Bi-Polar..No real mental health issues...hmmm
  • Had no contact with his family for 5 years..until 2 weeks ago,he had lunch with his mother.
  • Lived all over Canada,,mainly in homeless shelters
  • Converted to Islam a few years ago
  • Applied for a passport to travel to Syria
  • Had made Contacts with radical groups via the internet

This was a sick young man..diagnosed with bi-polar at one point..Disease of addiction..who reached out for help..and did not receive it!! His mother is not to blame..The mentally ill have all the rights in our Country..We as parents Can NOT ask..sign have our sick adult children be institutionalized to get the help they need..for their safety..and ours..This right was taken away years ago..with nothing put in place as an alternative..oh yes..a mental health my experiences involves a half hour interview in the ER!

We do not treat Addiction in this Country as the Mental Health issue it is..instead we incarcerate in jails.

Things need to change..our laws..acts.. policies..have to be re- addressed ..addiction and mental health need to be treated properly..not ignored..Put our greatly wasted tax-payers money where it belongs..our healthcare system is failing us.

My heartfelt sympathy..prayers go out to the family of the young man, Corporal Nathan Cirillo who was killed..Guarding the grave of the Unknown Soldier..With pride in his chosen profession of keeping our Country safe !


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

United We C.A.N.

It is truly the first online group I felt I belonged in!

Please Please ask me why???

It is all about Change!!
  • Changing the way we look and Treat Addiction.
  • A union of compassionate,empathic,educated people who realize, in order to help our loved ones, we must change.
  • Come together..Building..A simple concept..Instead of tearing down!
  • A merging of every program,treatment,belief that used to stand alone .Each proclaiming their way was the best..and only path to recovery!
  • Embracing each other..Celebrating the triumphs..Respecting our differences,yet seeing the common goal for all, is saving our loved matter the path!!
  • Families..Love that they stress how important our role truly is! How working on our own recovery is not only paramount..but impacts the recovery of our loved matter the path we take!
  • Changing the stigma associated with vile words, such as Junkie..Addict..New Buzz Word..SUD!! Substance Use Disorder/Disease..Much kinder..Changing the way our loved ones look at themselves!! Not as Junkies..hopeless addicts..scum..Dam I hate those words!! perhaps changing the way others..the public... views addiction..there is power in them there words Mamma...
We are in neck deep in the biggest drug epidemic of all times...Something has to change..This is change..Positive Empowering Change..xoxo

United We C.A.N.
Change Addiction Now!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

So How's It Workin For Ya?

This is the question most people ask me lately through my blog and e-mails.

How's it workin for ya ?

I am assuming they mean my stand against Tough Love...Instead..
going with Mamma's Love !

Welllll..It is going just fine..Thank-you very much !!

If you have followed my blog then you know how I struggled with let go..let god, Tough Love approach.

Instead I concentrated on Mamma..getting myself healthy..working on my own recovery..still advocating for my him support ( not money)..not enabling..keeping the rules and boundary's in place..and letting him suffer the natural consequences of his actions.

Guess what..AS I got better..So did he !

It was dam hard work..But a Mamma's got to do..what she's gotta do..and I did it..for myself !
There was noway in hell, I could do any of the above things for my son..If I wasn't well myself..I was an empty shell ..I was in a very dark place..and by reaching out for help..mainly to another mother..and people in recovery.. researching like a crazy woman..Questioning.. the sometimes archaic advice I was reading( and given) ..Going with the scientific based evidence..Staying firm to my belief that Addiction is indeed a disease.. I found light..and got my life back.Consequently, I got my son my back..for today !!

I learned to separate the Substance User from my son...I refuse to feed the vile..manipulative..disease of Addiction..But I will always love my son.I will always give him hope,encouragement,lots of love..and always..always..Fight for him..and others.

The one common theme I have heard from every person I have met in recovery is.." If my Family had given up on me...given up hope..refused to speak to me..completely disowned me..I would have died.

I am in no way saying my approach works for everyone..It wouldn't..I would not be able to keep him home if I had younger children..If I had not had the support of my hubby...If I was raising his children..and many other scenario's I am sure....I can only say..It's workin..for me..for him..I am not naive enough to think he has this licked..It is a disease of relapse and recovery..But Today he is 6 months in recovery..a full time Job..And just bought a car..He has plans for the future..He works his program..I work Mine.

I would say to every parent..grandparent.. yourself Healthy.. Heal...Start on your own recovery plan..You deserve it!!! Even if your loved one is not in will be in a much better place to deal with this disease...Love & Light..xoxo