Thursday, July 18, 2013

Step By Step

 Soooo..Since my own progress is so stunted & erratic, I have decided to take on a new approach in my recovery...Working on only 1 aspect of it at a time...For Me the Biggie is learning to keep my thoughts,opinions,motherly advice to myself.It brings me so much frustration,sadness,helplessness & anger, It halts me from moving forward..sideways..anyways ... except backward !! The first step in accomplishing this is actually admitting it is a problem..Got that one in the Bag...Yep I know it is Problem !! I haven't quite figured out the how yet..But hopefully over time it will fall into place. I need to make a list..write things down..figure out why I react and how is it working for me..well it's not working at all..and the only person getting hurt in this exercise of futility is me!! I will have to mother from afar...

I guess I haven't quite grasped the whole process of " Letting Go". I think for everyone the definition is different..I could never Fully Let go..The Same for" Enabling". I have made significant progress on this one...And I am proud of myself for doing so!! He also understands this will no longer happen...Does not keep him from trying tho..But the attempts are much less frequent & much less infused with Drama!!

I have to listen more...Think more...Walk Away...Before I speak. I will have to take a page out of my Hubby's( The Quiet One) Book.He just knows how to push my buttons..I will work on this..I do not react in anger anymore( In front of him).
 We have a very stressful week coming up.Actually he has a very stressful week coming up,I will be a bystander...Not a participant. Again it is his actions ( he does not see this) that has landed him in this position and any advice I would give, would only fall on deaf ears , as he is not taking responsibility for any of it.
 I will take it one day at time..and bite my tongue.


  1. For me, letting go means letting go of trying to control my son, letting go of the worry (it never changes things anyway!), letting go of doing things that he can do for himself, etc. I think some people believe that letting go means turning our backs on our addicted children. This is not what it is at all. It is understanding that we are powerless over someone else. Just as we wouldn't let someone else control our lives, our children are no different - addicted or not. I think about you all the time and read your blog everyday. It is a hard journey, for sure, but you can/will get to a place of peace. xo Rose

  2. Always got my back Rose..Love ya..xoxo
    Hardest Thing I have ever experienced..Like a & downs..Somedays I do great..Otherdays I could curl up and cry all day..I will get there..someday..
    Thinking of you Also..