My Irish is Up

In more ways than one...I had this feeling...and today's visit just confirmed it...although he said he was suffering from the Flu..My God Man I am in the nursing profession...You do not have the flu...After a half hour in the bathroom with the water running and claims he was puking up his guts..I made him leave...Bloody kleenex and needle cover half hidden in a toilet roll...Flu...Funny thinks to puke up!!
I knew as his court date was approaching things were going get rough...I was just hoping against all that I learned..He would remain clean...After he left he went to the cottage to Visit his father..we take turns..isn't that sad..because we are scared to leave the house unattended...His Dad called...do you think he is using...I know he is using...His choice..His consequences...We have to look after us...No tears..No desperate talks about what are going to do...He has the Tools..he knows how to use them...one day at a time..Easy to say now...

The Hardest part for me is reading others Blogs...Let me just say a positive first..They have helped me more than I can say..They are helping me heal...helping me become stronger... Give me hope...But the hard part is reading about the sober livings...The rehabs..The help available for their children...When none of that is available to our children...This is what sets us apart from other provinces...Other country's...Today while visiting our Island Addiction Page another Mom had posted her e-mail to the powers that be...Pleading for help...Sharing info with them, showing the benefits of treatment...Long term treatment..our long term treatment is 10 days of detox..Then..Out you go!! Our sober living is 30 days...ONE sober living home for men in our City..Which has a 3 month waiting period !! This is what makes me scared..This is what makes me second guess my decisions..This is what gives me nightmares of him dying!! There is little help out there for our children!! Am I making excuses..Or is this a legitimate reason to step in and do all I can to save him...AS another Mother put it...we were Ranked the Most beautiful Beaches in Canada...How About another Title..The Province who provides the greatest Healing for our Kids...Oh yeah..That costs Money!!

I looked at the membership numbers of our group 247...19 people actually looked at it...only 2 commented on it!!! How are we supposed to get changes made when we remain silent..smarten up people!!!! There is power in numbers...We have..Our Children have a god giving right to help!!! Speak up !! It is an open group..we have Politicians as members..They are watching...reading..and here we sit..Silence..So why would they bother to help us...WEll that felt good to get out...release some of that tension of today...We will see how this all unfolds..Think Positive..