Friday, February 28, 2014

Happy Birthday Momma

Not me..My Momma..Who addiction stole from us way to young.

She Struggled as long as I can remember with Opiates..She was a petite woman who could consume 40+ pills a day..And a packet of anti-nausea pills to keep them down..She got them over the counter at that technology to track her purchases like there is today..she would send us kids to the pharmacy with a note and 10 dollars to make her purchase..In hindsight I guess we were her runners & the pharmacy.. her Dealer.

As I got older and realized how wrong this was and what this "habit" was doing to us..I refused and begged her to get help..she did..The treatment..." Acupuncture in her ears".."A wag of finger from the family Doc"..That was it. No One talked about it..

It was no secret..everyone could you not.. as you watched her stagger..nod off..slurr her words..hallucinate..sleep.. Raid their medicine cabinets..steal from their piggy banks but no one talked about..No One !! Three OD's..NO ONE talked about it !

Phone calls from her work..come pick her up..she had the flu..And I would literally have to" pick her up" and carry her to the car..because she helped herself..or was given pills from the med Cart..And NO ONE talked about it.

She never reached any kind of recovery..She reached Death first..her organs finally could not sustain the daily doses of opiates...and slowly began to shut down..I saw the lab reports..everyone knew the cause..and NO One talked about her..or to us.

Addiction robbed 3 kids of their mother..slowly & silently..Parents of their youngest daughter..brothers of their baby sister..To this Day..No one talks about what killed her..But I did...

I talked to MY son's about it..How it affected our Family..How it robbed them of their grandmother..Who they loved so much..She was so loved..In lucid times she was a wonderful Mother..grand mother..daughter..sister..but those times were to few..She was a Caregiver..who could not care for herself..Addiction robbed her of many things...And finally her Life.

I missed  her when she was alive..and I still miss her today ...

Happy Birthday Momma.. Love Ya...xoxoxo

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