Saturday, March 29, 2014

The Last Dance

When our children were babies, Mamma's always heard their cries..we heard them moving..we even heard them breathing from our own bedrooms ( we had no monitors in my day ).Our hearing was extremely acute and our sleep light...we were on our feet running at the slightest sound.

Those ability's are the same, when you live with a loved one in active addiction !

The rules and boundary's have been reset..tightened..added to..subtracted..and I have my running shoes beside my bed.

A lesson I have learned after his many relapses..and recovery periods..don't get to complacent !

Why his thought process when looking at treatment always..One last  Dance with the Devil !

Next week he will return to treatment...For today we step backwards..

Back to locking everything up!
Back to dealing with lies & manipulation!
Back to wondering who this emaciated person is living in our house?
Back to the thought... this one last Dance... could mean Death!

The one difference this time..I am not alone...

Hope & Hugs for all Families who are struggling with loved ones, dancing with the devil at this moment..We are Many..We are stronger then we think..We are Speaking out..We are Not Alone..xoxo


  1. The scariest times are before and after detox. I wish him and all of you well!

    1. After hearing the news on our latest tragedy ..and seeing my tears for those parents,he came to me,assuring me he was going to get back on track.He has never in past reacted to my tears , when they were for him.

  2. This is so true, I had a horrible dream last night and I hope it does not come true, but the thought is in the back of my mind today. I hope your son will take note of your tears and feel some emotion for your struggles. My daughter has been clean for six months after 4 horrible years and now she can cry and cry with me over her past and we are starting to recovery together.. It is such a nightmare but hopefully we will get there sooner than later. Be strong. Hugs and tears

  3. Oh I know those dreams only too well!!
    I am so happy for both of you !!
    Thank-you for sharing..and caring..xoxo