Thursday, May 22, 2014

Orange Is The New Black

One of the words we hear quite often in Addictions is the term Natural Consequences.As parents this is something we must adhere too!! It could very well be the time when our loved ones see the light.The term can mean almost anything from breaking rules..not respecting boundary's..more often tho it refers to problems with the court system.

Sometimes their past can come back to haunt them ( as in my son's case).As much as you want to step in and help..DON'T
  • Do not under any circumstances pay for their lawyer..they have manipulated and stolen enough off you.
  • Do not believe for one minute they are innocent..that it wasn't theirs.. it was Johnny's..That they paid for it and didn't have a receipt or bag.. because they are saving the environment !
  • Let them experience first hand their natural consequences.
  • Do or Do not go to the sentencing hearing for support..It can be heartbreaking seeing your loved one shuffling out with leg shackles & prepared..Yes they need to know you still love them..just be prepared..I wasn't. But I will be this time!!
  • Do not give them canteen not cave into the pleas for money so they can buy pop & chips..a better toothbrush..etc..Remember, they are not going on vacation to a luxury spa !! Let them suffer the consequences while YOU take the Spa Vacation.. while they are safely locked up off the streets..clean..getting perhaps programs to help them..with plenty of time to reflect on the actions this disease has brought with it..Maybe..Just maybe..It is what they needed to reach & maintain recovery!!If you do give them money..It may very well go to purchasing drugs..yes Mamma they sell drugs in Jail & drugs !! 
  • I wish each person who's petty crimes while active in their addiction,was given the opportunity to be sentenced to Rehab..That would be my wish in a perfect world.
  • Remember to continue to offer support..and let them always know you love them..xo


  1. This is exactly the position my husband has taken with our 16 year old son... I admire his strength and steadfastness with it,, I pray Lord God our son turns his life around and begins to make better healthier more responsible choices before it is too late. And I also thank God for my husbands resolve during this.. Im not sure where I would be or how we could deal with our sons behaviour an choices if it wasnt for my husbands strength.Its hard as a mother to remain stoic and not give in to the pain and pressure to just give him what he wants and needs but all I Have to do is look to my husband and I know he has our sons best interests in mind when he refuses to contribute to his drug use and addiction. Every social service, policing agency, lawyer, addictions service, Doctor, educator, teacher, principal, councillor,priest, minister, friend, and family has told us we are powerless to change his lifestyle.. that that decision has to come from our son.. so for now we refuse to support him but continue to love him unconditionally....

    1. Crystal It is so hard as a Mother...It is a learning process..Mamma's are natural born nurturers & caregivers..But this disease is like no other..It thrives and feeds off us. I feel your pain..I hope your son reaches out for recovery..all we can do as parents is let them know we love them and be there when they reach out...xoxo