Wow it has been 1 year since I started my Blog..Happy Birthday !
I kinda feel like the Phoenix..You recreate yourself..You must in order to survive and heal!!
It was a year of learning,some by own doing, My son's..but most of all, by the help of others.
There is no one who can understand this Journey unless they have, or are, living it! You don't learn this stuff in books..It is a combination of all learning styles..most of us have our own and we all know how we learn best,whether it be Visual,Auditory,Logical,Solitary,Social or Physical..Trust me... in order to heal from this TRIP you must become of a master of all!!
I have met the most amazing people,who otherwise,in a "Normal" life our paths would never have crossed !!
It was desperation and fear ( for both my son's life and my own) That prompted me to reach out.
It wasn't and isn't.. always a bowl full of Cherry's..but nothing worth fighting for rarely is.
I have listened tho...took what worked for me..and left the rest..it is indeed an individual learning process !
But I am here a year later,Thanks to Friends..Incredible Human beings..those in Recovery, Those still active in their addiction, And those like myself, standing beside those who need us the most!!..They are my Hero's..My Anchor's..My Family..I once read
It does not matter whose DNA is combined with who..when everything goes
to hell,The people who stand beside you without flinching are your Family.I am now part of a New family !
I still have bad days..but they are better bad days ;)
When you have always been the strong one,the caregiver,the nurturer,the Mamma..Addiction certainly tells you quickly you are now..... none of the above! You are nothing more than a means,A vessel,to get that next fix!! That... my friends takes alot of unlearning..and relearning !
I love my son's equally..I have raised two strong, passionate sons,with high morals and values. One who now has children of his own..Who never judged nor begrudged the time spent,the toll and time it takes in dealing with his brother's addiction.I am so proud of the man he became!! I hope and I hope some more, that someday, my youngest son ,will be free from the demons that haunt his soul and reclaim that same man I raised.. I know is in there!!
I am..... a work in progress..
I am still MammaP..xoxo