It has been a week since detox graduation.A week of learning for all of us.It has, after all , been the first time he finished detox.I think some things have actually seeped into my brain.I finally understand the act of enabling,do not do anything for them that they can do for themselves.Secondly is the trust issue,It is a biggie with me,I am always wanting to trust him when he is clean,but he is never really clean long enough to trust him! I read a passage somewhere,I can't remember where but it hit home( Maybe Sally Swenson's blog).Only begin to trust when their actions coincide with their words.Makes perfect sense !!
His brother informed me he wrote him an e-mail the day he got out of detox.This is a biggie since they hardly ever communicate unless my older son is home visiting.It was a letter of amends.I think my oldest son was touched but very cautious as to the words.I did not ask him about the letter or what it contained, I was just glad that my youngest son wrote...and my older son actually opened the letter and read the contents!
The week kinda went downhill from there..GRrrrrrrrrr.
He needs support of other addicts..he did well in group I was told,But in my son's mind the group he needs to go to is the one at the Center.Which is at 8:30 in the morning.He goes to work at 8:00.I suggested perhaps he could go to another at 8:00 at night..no it is not at the center,But it is a support group and he may find just as beneficial . No..he only wants to attend the one that happens when he is working and he cannot attend..ooook gotcha.
They tried to fire him at work for the time missed at work while he was in detox.No they cannot fire you for addiction...it is in the union by-laws.
The biggie came when he found out hubby and I were planning our last weekend at the cottage...Could they come out & visit...yes...as long as we are there...next day...Can we stay overnight one night...I struggle with this one..I just wanted some alone time with hubby...we also have lots to do to close up the cottage..But I agreed..one night...Then yesterday he thought we should allow he & girlfriend to have the cottage by themselves!! We could go home early and let them spend the last night there by themselves..After all he was doing so good !! Ummmmm sorry no..this is about your dad & I for a change..Invited them over for supper..after 5 minutes of pleads..and reasons why I should...I stuck to NO!! He then told me to go F&^% myself and hung up...Progress..I think not..
And how was your week? xo