Sunday, May 26, 2013

Sunday's Child

My youngest son...Was born on a Sunday...Should have been a good sign...Although I am catholic...raised in the church...believe in God...I am more spiritual than Religious,thus I have a problem with giving my son's addiction to God and praying...It is just not how his Dad & I are built....I wish I could find comfort in doing that...but I can't...I do not think there is any comfort in any of this journey!!
I do so appreciate friends & family saying they will keep us in their prayers...I want to believe it will help..It is just not our way coping with this disease of addiction. I'd rather they offer a respite of sorts to us..If only for 30 minutes...Give us positive feedback " you WILL get thro this".."you ARE good parents".."This is NOT your fault".."YOU are strong".."WE are here for you"..Tell us a funny joke...make us laugh..instead of cry...sometimes a prayer just does not cut it!!

It has been 3 long days since we have heard from him...Since I told him he can't come home...I know he is in a motel room...I know his money is about to run out...I do not know what happens then...does he go to detox...does he reach out for help or does he reach out to the himself to feed his habit...How do I stop my mind spinning from this constant tug of war with my heart !!! One day at a time...

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