Friday, November 15, 2013

The Nightmare

I had a really bad sleep last night,the reason I am sure is because my son is entering detox again and the same fears and what if's creep in.

1.5 years ago my dad died,the day of his funeral,we the family were inside sharing a lunch with those that attended and sharing stories about my Dad.My husband approached me with a look of terror on his face.Apparently my youngest son was out at the grave,not crying,but filling it in shovel shovel full.I went out to talk to him.He explained his grandfather would want him to do this..not some stranger.I went back inside and let him continue to do what he need to do,much to the shock of alot people.It was his way of showing his love,who am I to judge.

Well last night it was me filling in that grave,and it was my son's grave not my father's.I can still see that image today.What a true nightmare addiction is and for all involved.I have to keep fighting for better treatment to keep my mind busy on the positives and stop these images from creeping into not only my waking hours but now my dreams...I sang this song to both my son's when they were babies...and to my granddaughter today,I wish things were this simple today to bring calm & comfort to my son.

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