As I opened the morning paper today to read another Mother's Story of Loss..It hit me hard..I think I was still holding out hope her son would be found alive..My son will enter detox,yet again, on the weekend.Then what? I struggle continually with the Tough Love Theory...We tried that early on his life in dealing with his ADHD...It did not work..It certainly will not work now with an added Disease of Addiction.As I have mentioned before, the enabling I have down to a science.We do not enable anymore.I do however struggle with the decision to give him over to the streets, when he so desperately seeks & needs long term treatment.I know in my Heart I cannot do it.I will take him home after detox and support & advocate for further treatment for his addiction & mental Illness.
This morning I received an e-mail from a young man that sealed my decision.He is now clean and has been in recovery for 7 years.He wrote... "MY" e-mail brought tears to his eyes as he remembered how his course of using and addiction affected his Mamma & Family,Ironically HIS brought tears to my eyes..Not only for the hope it gave me that recovery is possible..But it was the Love of his parents who never turned him out that he gives credit to for saving his life by allowing him to stay at home,It also allowed him to seek help.2 things he mentioned in his letter are worth sharing.
1.Remember even if you can't see it or feel it your son loves you and feels
safe knowing you haven't given up believe me if he could,he would stop.
2. something my
mother said when I asked her why she never slammed the door on me. Her response
was what if that was the last time I saw you. What if my actions made you
realize your life was so empty and it caused you to end your life, I would never
I truly believe this is a disease and thus should be treated as such..I would not turn him away if it was Cancer and I just can't turn him away now as he reaches for recovery.As I have said before there is no right or wrong answer in dealing with this...each person's story is different and what led them to recovery...We will see how this works if he is given the chance for proper treatment..Keep your fingers crossed & keep us in your prayers as he enters Detox again this weekend, that this will be his time when he reaches for recovery and succeeds...xoxo