Heart To Heart

 I remember early on in my blog someone had commented that a Heart to Heart with Mamma is always beneficial.I thought it was time,and perhaps this far in his recovery he may actually be able to have a True Heart to Heart.
 I was Curious about his thoughts on what actually got him started on this Road.I knew he had a good Home....Lots of love...lots of extended family.. friends.....privileges.. responsibility..consequence's..But he also had ADHD..and of course Genetics..
 He felt the ADHD played a part..He was honest in saying in school he tried Marijuana..But when you have ADHD the effect is the opposite of what most experience..it wasn't the calming feel good effect..that his friends experienced..so he was not drawn to it..Kinda like Ritalin gives others a high..for him..It offers a calm effect..able to concentrate..etc.slows his body & brain down. So he drank..It changed his personality..but not in a good way..made him aggressive..constantly into fights..It wasn't until he had surgery 6 years ago that he actually felt a good high...the percocets..and that little stop sign that most of us have neglected to wave & warn him...This may not be a good thing...It was the start of his downhill...from popping percs..to snorting..smoking..and finally to needles..and it was no longer percs..it had to be a bigger high..a more potent drug to achieve..more money..and less & less control..till it & he was totally out of control...

 I just let him talk.. I listened..offered no motherly advice..he didn't need it..he knows..he suffers from addiction..he knows how it has affected his family..His self esteem..his relationships.. His Health..The difference is the Addict doesn't doesn't care..But My son Does..and this is why I can never give up on him..never give up hope..He is in there..and is slowly emerging back to my son..one day at a time..xoxox