Taking Our Kids Back

As I popped on the Internet this morning, the latest news feed was a mile long.It was the top one that caught and held my attention.It was actually from a group I thought I had left,because of all the fighting among the member's.

The message however was a strong one.It was asking all mother's to Unite in Taking back our Kids.

I never went to the site to view the comments as I knew they would be full of so many opinions on that statement." They have to want it themselves" " Just give it to god" " He is evil "" I can't save him" etc.

 I myself, continue to work on my own recovery,Like my son's, it is and will be a lifelong process.Over the time I have left many groups,stopped following certain blogs,Joined more groups,searching for like minded parents such as myself.I also still follow blogs that aren't like minded because they keep me on my toes.They also have taught me many things,Like my son's recovery I take what I need and leave the rest.

We are all fighting the same Devil..Addiction.

Let's Do Our Part, To bring Our Kids Back

There is much we can't help our children with.No we can't save them,But we can be part of the solution that may lead them to recovery.

The most important step is getting healthy yourself,For me I found the healthier I got,The better my son got.
The main steps for we parents, are the Obvious ones.Not enabling,set up rules and boundary's.Always ask yourself is this helping my child...or feeding the Addiction.Each and everyone of us can do our part in Taking back our Kids.

It does not have to be holding a sign and standing in protest,There are many who can't do that.It does not have to be speaking out in pulblic,Public speaking is not everyone's cup of Tea.It is not founding a self help-group,Starting a blog,researching for new ways to unlock the brain of those suffering from addiction,Fighting for better treatment,recovery homes or writing new laws to protect our children.It does not have to be any of these things.

• It can be as simple as writing a letter to your local government represenitive,Your city counselor.

• It can be giving to a foodbank,A homeless shelter,Offering a warm blanket or a meal to somesones child,hoping someone else is doing the same for yours.
• It can be supporting them in the treatment of Their Choice..Most importantly,being there if that choice fails and encouraging them to try a different path.
• It can be keeping them close..texting,calling,leave a message with those 3 powerful words" I love You"
• It can be driving them to treatment and visiting them on family days.

• It Can be Admitting when your wrong..and zipping it when your right

It can be a hundred small things,but you can't do it if your full of anger,fear,So sick you can't get out of bed,uneducated about the disease of addiction.

You can't do anything if you don't lift yourself up and start recoverying yourself,That is the first and most important step.

You have to give to yourself first,before you can give to someone else..but you can do it..Just as our children can do it...one step at a time.

Let's do our part...take our kids back..by healing ourselves first...xoxo

Different Roles In Addiction

As I read blogs,research papers,self help groups,papers on addiction etc. I often wonder how I survived without a psychologist ,A social worker,A youth worker, A psychiatrist !
I grew up with an alcoholic father and an a mother who was addicted to opioids.I was the oldest and just assumed the role of both parents..or either,when situations arose in regards to my younger siblings.It was just the way it was.It was my norm, and I just accepted that fact.

I had a wonderful supportive extended family,not that they took over any these roles,but they would call..or visit..bring meals..ask if I needed anything..took us out of the situation when needed..all the time, never acknowledging the problems verbally,out loud, within our family unit.

I learned survival skills..responsibility..compassion..empathy..I sat in the rooms with my father giving him support..so proud of his sobriety..my mom received no help , as they would just write more scripts for pills..sell her over the counter meds..day after day, without a question..or any concern..even after 3 OD's..no one said a word..pump out her stomach,medicate her,write her another script..send us on our way.

My point is ..how did I grow up without any baggage..without any professional help!

My only conclusion was I didn't know any different..it was, what it was and I just did what was needed for our family.Yes, it was dysfunctional in today's buzz words..but it was my norm.there was also a lot of love..there were good times,times of sobriety for my father,times when my mom wasn't completely zoned out,we took family vacations..Both my parents gave whatever they could to help out a friend,a neighbour,a stranger,Every Sunday we sat in church.

It wasn't until I had children of my own that I knew..promised myself..promised God..my children would not grow up like that..and they didn't.They grew up in normal,loving,nurturing family,with rules and boundary's and responsibility.

I guess my question has always been, as I now journey alongside my son with his disease of Addiction..How in the hell did I get through this with my parents..unscathed!!

I will not be so lucky on this journey,this time.

They say knowledge is power,It is also heart wrenching !

The drugs of my parents choosing, were not the same in volume, or in potency ,of my sons.

The fear,the helplessness,the knowledge..Oh the knowledge..In knowing, I could lose my child,cannot be compared.There is no greater love than of a mother for her child.

I will not let it defeat me,I will keep researching,I will keep on loving,I will continue to keep him close.I will cheer lead whatever path he chooses to maintain his recovery.I will share,Loudly..our story.I will continue to advocate,support,reach out to others on the same Journey.I will continue to heal,So I never..never again be taken to my knees in such devasting fear,.Yes, I will come out of this one a wee bit battered and bruised..but not defeated !! I do pray for other Families,Those who live with this disease..God bless us all..xo

Dear AA/NA

This is a not so short and not so sweet post,I am so angry and disappointed.Just answer me this question,and,It had better be an intelligent,evidence based answer!

Why would any AA/ NA group refuse young Men and Women,Their hard earned chips,when they find out they are on MATS??
A young Man/Woman who, during "treatment",was driven daily to NA/AA meetings,visited daily in rehab by NA/AA..given the books,welcomed with open arms,loved  by those members who stated "seeing these youth's smiling faces in recovery make our day". BUT never told " By the way,if you take MAT ( medication assisted treatment), you are not welcome??? When they KNOW 80 percent in the Center are taking them!!!

Never miss meetings,worked their steps with every bit of sincerity as the next person,turned their life around 100 percent,Tell Me Why don't they deserve their Fcuking Chip???

  Their not clean ? They are on a medication for a disease,They're NOT high.We encourage our Youth to attend NA/AA,It has an important "Support" place in their recovery, AND this is the result,time and time again.
  YOUR freaking higher power is WAY different than mine.Mine does not JUDGE.Mine hung around with Thieves and prostitutes,Murders, don't tell me MAT is a crutch,Cause you know what ? I love crutches.They help people walk again ! I love Band aids.They help our sores heal !

Any Adult who has walked this road of Addiction and refuses a young or any person who" is" in RECOVERY,A GD well earned Chip,Needs to work his freakin steps again.Cause he missed a whole lot !!.
Example :
AA:"The Big BOOK"
 No A.A. member should “play doctor”; all
medical advice and treatment should come from a
qualified physician.
NA:
Drug Replacement
By definition, drug replacement is used for a differ-
ent reason than prescribed medications for mental or
physical health. This distinction makes drug replace-
ment a separate issue for us in NA. When it comes to
those who participate in drug replacement, it is helpful
to remember that our Third Tradition clearly states that
membership in NA is established when someone has a
desire to stop using or when they choose to become a
member, not when they are clean. No matter what the
issue, groups are still charged with the goal of welcom-
ing each person who walks into a meeting.

They earned that Chip. A few years ago a young man shared with me a story, about himself, and his to recovery on MAT and being refused his chip.I dug out one of my fathers chips and personally gave him his one year chip.I know, My Dad, would gladly give it up to this young man ,who rightly deserved it.Cause that's the kind of AA/NA MAN he was.Shame on you!

Bill W was a very progressive man,I have no doubt he would be rolling in his grave seeing what happened, and happens everyday within these groups.Remember folks AA/NA is not treatment..It is a support group.

P.S. Do not tell them to find another another meeting,This is a common theme among our youth who attend "Different" meetings.There must be someone willing to stand up and speak for these youth.Times are changing folks and our kids are dying.Be part of the solution Please, Please ,not the problem.They are devastated! I will forever choke on the words,Seek a NA/AA Support group it will help in your recovery.When, I know in my heart,this will be the reward for your recovery, None !

Nightmare Before Christmas

It's been awhile since I have updated.Tis the season.

I use to Love this time of Year..not so much anymore..I have made a conscious effort this year to get back into the spirit of Christmas.My son remains in his version of recovery..I in mine..It is a hard time of the year for family's who have been visited by addiction..the gift that keeps on giving..and giving ..and giving..My son has been given the gift of recovery..for today..I hope he doesn't return it ! There were many Christmas's without him at the Family dinner table..Gifts unopened..a constant reminder he was wrapped up in his addiction..minus a pretty bow.

Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas

And all through Our home,
Every creature was stirring,
And out on the run..
Searching the streets for our missing son.

No visions of sugar-plums,
Dancing in our heads..
But visions of fear,
We'd find our son dead.                                                                                                                       

 Now Go Percs,Morphine,
 Oxy, and Crack..
 Dash away..Dash Away
 And don't come Back !

Then came a noise
A red flashing light
We peeked out the window
Frozen with fright

There on the street,
Lay a Red Santa's hat,
My son on a stretcher,
I jumped in the back!

Then in a twinkling,
Full Speed ahead
I thought of the Christmas's
He was snuggled in bed.

The doctors were there,
All dressed in their greens,
Nurses were flying..
It was quite a scene !

He was skinny and gaunt
No resemblance of an Elf
He was blue..no pulse
Just a shell of himself.

As I clenched that Santa Hat
Close to my heart
I prayed for a miracle
As they grabbed for the crash cart.

They spoke not a word
Went straight to work
His body straightened and started to jerk..
The doc laid his hand on my shoulder
and said..
He's back,we saved him..go home to bed.

I sprang to his side,
Whispering in his ear,
Merry Christmas sweet man..
His lips moved , in a weak voice he moaned.
Merry Christmas Mamma..I almost made it home.

Merry Christmas to all..To all a good night..
MammaP..xoxo
 

Support For The Reach Center

Your Support would be greatly appreciated next weekend for The Reach Center.They will be participating in the Blowout Sale at the Civic Center .You will see them running the canteen..At the Reach Booth..where they will be selling Items the youth have worked on such as T-Shirts..Birdhouses..Christmas Kits for Home Decorating..I also heard there will be FUDGE!!...I can't forget Onesies..for all ages..And a few more area's.

This Center is a labour of love..Started by 3 mother's..They need the support of the community to continue to help our youth..To help them get back on their feet..into university..college..working..while receiving much needed support from the staff and each other.It is unique..and it is working!!

It is also where the Family Support Group meets each Tuesday night.

These Women need our support..Our Youth Need our support.This is a Great example of the community stepping up ...to do what they can, in helping with epidemic of opioid addiction on our Island.Who says we Parents..the community.. aren't doing our part..Let's pay it forward in giving them our support and Love..After all we are more than an Addiction Community..We are A Family..xoxo

The Terrorist ?

I am no political analyst.. Journalist..member of the FBI..However.. Wednesday's Tragedy on Parliment Hill was NOT a terrorist attack on our Country !!

I have to stay away from the comments sections of news Articles..They put my blood pressure up to dangerous levels. In my quest for information on what was happening in Ottawa..concern for my fellow Canadians and family members..friends who live in Our Nations Capitol..Heartbroken for the young Soldier,who was killed,his family..It led me down many newspaper articles.

Then  a picture popped up of the shooter's mother..Her words broke my heart..Expressing her sympathy to the families..

“Hi, I am writing this note on behalf of my husband and myself.
No words can express the sadness we are feeling at this time. We are so sad that a man lost his life. He has lost everything and he leaves behind a family that must feel nothing but pain and sorrow.
We send our deepest condolences to them although words seem pretty useless. We are both crying for them.
We also wish to apologize for all the pain, fright and chaos he created.
We have no explanation to offer. I am mad at our son, I don’t understand and part of me wants to hate him at this time.
You write that our son was vulnerable, we don’t know, we (he) was lost and did not fit in.
I his mother spoke with him last week over lunch, I had not seen him for over five years before that. So I have very little insight to offer.
We don’t wish to be part of any media circus, we don’t think it will add anything to the conversation. Please respect our privacy although many may not feel we deserve any …
Once again we are so sorry.

The comments section was flooded with hate..before anyone knew the details on exactly who her son was..before... he became the "Terrorist "..The common theme for many..blame the parents..blame our immigration system..Blame everyone..except the shameful changes made to our health care and social system..systemically being destroyed to save money..If you want to place blame..we all need to look inwardly..outwardly..That we would allow this attack on our Health Care system to happen!!

I try very hard never to make a decision..form an opinion.. until I do my homework first..So I began..Who was this terrorist ?

• He was a Canadian..32 yrs old

• Born in Quebec

• A good student

• After high school began his journey with addiction..with the justice system.

• Begged a judge to send him to prison to get help for his disease after a failed Robbery..he was released !
• Mental health assessment stated crack cocaine was his drug of choice..He had addiction issues, Bi-Polar..No real mental health issues...hmmm
• Had no contact with his family for 5 years..until 2 weeks ago,he had lunch with his mother.
• Lived all over Canada,,mainly in homeless shelters
• Converted to Islam a few years ago
• Applied for a passport to travel to Syria
• Had made Contacts with radical groups via the internet

This was a sick young man..diagnosed with bi-polar at one point..Disease of addiction..who reached out for help..and did not receive it!! His mother is not to blame..The mentally ill have all the rights in our Country..We as parents Can NOT ask..sign in..request..beg..to have our sick adult children be institutionalized to get the help they need..for their safety..and ours..This right was taken away years ago..with nothing put in place as an alternative..oh yes..a mental health assessment..in my experiences involves a half hour interview in the ER!

We do not treat Addiction in this Country as the Mental Health issue it is..instead we incarcerate in jails.

Things need to change..our laws..acts.. policies..have to be re- addressed ..addiction and mental health need to be treated properly..not ignored..Put our greatly wasted tax-payers money where it belongs..our healthcare system is failing us.

My heartfelt sympathy..prayers go out to the family of the young man, Corporal Nathan Cirillo who was killed..Guarding the grave of the Unknown Soldier..With pride in his chosen profession of keeping our Country safe !










 

United We C.A.N.

It is truly the first online group I felt I belonged in!

Please Please ask me why???

It is all about Change!!

• Changing the way we look and Treat Addiction.
• A union of compassionate,empathic,educated people who realize, in order to help our loved ones, we must change.
• Come together..Building..A simple concept..Instead of tearing down!
• A merging of every program,treatment,belief that used to stand alone .Each proclaiming their way was the best..and only path to recovery!
• Embracing each other..Celebrating the triumphs..Respecting our differences,yet seeing the common goal for all, is saving our loved ones..no matter the path!!
• Families..Love that they stress how important our role truly is! How working on our own recovery is not only paramount..but impacts the recovery of our loved ones..no matter the path we take!
• Changing the stigma associated with vile words, such as Junkie..Addict..New Buzz Word..SUD!! Substance Use Disorder/Disease..Much kinder..Changing the way our loved ones look at themselves!! Not as Junkies..hopeless addicts..scum..Dam I hate those words!! perhaps changing the way others..the public... views addiction..there is power in them there words Mamma...

We are in neck deep in the biggest drug epidemic of all times...Something has to change..This is change..Positive Empowering Change..xoxo

United We C.A.N.
Change Addiction Now!

So How's It Workin For Ya?

This is the question most people ask me lately through my blog and e-mails.

How's it workin for ya ?

I am assuming they mean my stand against Tough Love...Instead..

going with Mamma's Love !

Welllll..It is going just fine..Thank-you very much !!

If you have followed my blog then you know how I struggled with let go..let god, Tough Love approach.

Instead I concentrated on Mamma..getting myself healthy..working on my own recovery..still advocating for my son..giving him support ( not money)..not enabling..keeping the rules and boundary's in place..and letting him suffer the natural consequences of his actions.

Guess what..AS I got better..So did he !

It was dam hard work..But a Mamma's got to do..what she's gotta do..and I did it..for myself !
There was noway in hell, I could do any of the above things for my son..If I wasn't well myself..I was an empty shell ..I was in a very dark place..and by reaching out for help..mainly to another mother..and people in recovery.. researching like a crazy woman..Questioning.. the sometimes archaic advice I was reading( and given) ..Going with the scientific based evidence..Staying firm to my belief that Addiction is indeed a disease.. I found light..and got my life back.Consequently, I got my son my back..for today !!

I learned to separate the Substance User from my son...I refuse to feed the vile..manipulative..disease of Addiction..But I will always love my son.I will always give him hope,encouragement,lots of love..and always..always..Fight for him..and others.

The one common theme I have heard from every person I have met in recovery is.." If my Family had given up on me...given up hope..refused to speak to me..completely disowned me..I would have died.

I am in no way saying my approach works for everyone..It wouldn't..I would not be able to keep him home if I had younger children..If I had not had the support of my hubby...If I was raising his children..and many other scenario's I am sure....I can only say..It's workin..for me..for him..I am not naive enough to think he has this licked..It is a disease of relapse and recovery..But Today he is 6 months in recovery..a full time Job..And just bought a car..He has plans for the future..He works his program..I work Mine.

I would say to every parent..grandparent.. son..daughter..brother..sister..Lover..Get yourself Healthy.. Heal...Start on your own recovery plan..You deserve it!!! Even if your loved one is not in recovery..you will be in a much better place to deal with this disease...Love & Light..xoxo

Grama's House

I received a lovely e-mail this morning from another mother whose daughter is struggling with opiate Addiction.It was full of positivity..hope.She just wanted to drop me a line to tell me she enjoyed my blog and how much it helps her understand better her daughters Addiction...That she is not alone..that she has a place she belongs...I was humbled...

BUT

It is her story that is inspiring..and sad..and the reality of more and more women and men.It brings to mind the Quote " Be Kind..Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

She is also a grandmother..of 3 beautiful grandchildren..that yes..she is raising !

She has given me permission to share a bit of her story..not because she wants sympathy..because she wants you to know ,she is doing her part in the fight with the monster Addiction.You will not see her at the Rally's,The support group meetings..But she is there in spirit.

She was the " Sandwich Generation"..Raising her own children ( she has 6 children..all have left the nest).. while providing care and love to her aging parents as their journey on this earth,came to an end.

She is now part of what Stats Canada calls " "skip-generation households." There are more and more of these households as this epidemic rises.She Said" I could not turn those kids away..or allow them to placed in foster care ,I believe my daughter is sick..and could die from her disease..No different than any other chronic disease that the public views as respectable..such as Cancer..or MS." "I want to do this..for her..for my grandchildren."

She is cheer leading the efforts being taken to change the system.. to get adequate timely treatment ..from the sidelines..But she wanted me know she's there..with us..every step of the way!!

She is my hero..She and others like her..who are sacrificing,what should be the their golden years..to do their part in the Dance with the Devil !

She told me.." I get no aid from social services..They have offered to help if I quit my job ( she has 33 years in and 2 years left for a full pension and benefits)..Quitting my job is not an option..So no help.

I hope and I hope some more..her daughter finds her way to recovery...xoxo
Thank-you for reaching out to me..You give me strength to carry on the fight..Please know you will always be in my thoughts and prayers..Hugggggs

O

 is for Opiod

A Pill so powerful your hooked in days...
People continue not to understand the potency of this drug..
This is not the pot and hashish of days gone by..
Where a walk to the 12 step rooms..brings you into the open arms of recovery.

Theses pills attach themselves to the brains receptor's.
They refuse to let go..
For years... into the path of  a recovery..
Holding those caught in the grip of their disease hostage.
Horrendous craving's..physical symptoms causing great pain.
Death

The Recipients of this disease are as much distraught as the public..
They don't want to live like this..ruining lives..families..
They reach out..they give it all they got..
But O is the gift that keeps on giving..

They try again..a different path this time..
And again O..reaches out..
And thus the legacy of this little pill lives on...forever
or dies with the recipient..

When you have the world's best known Center's for Addiction..The Betty Ford and Hazelden( which have merged )..Now offering 3 paths to recovery..including..MEDICATION..such as methadone and suboxone..It speaks Volumes about the problem we have in our Country!!

For God's sake..For our Loved ones sake..be part of the solution..support..advocate..for better treatment..Not Judge..xo

The Eyes Of Addiction

While out for a walk today..I'm aging myself now.. The song, "Betty Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes, starting blaring in my ears, through my Ipod..

For some reason it brought back visions of my son's eyes... when he was in active addiction.

It wasn't the redness, the pupils larger or smaller than usual ,or even the times I had seen nothing... but the whites as they rolled back into the sockets.

It was the emptiness... The Darkness...The same emptiness I have seen many times with people who are dying..they're still breathing, but they are gone..the life has left.

Addiction steals their souls and sucks the life right out of them..They are void of any feeling..even the basic needs of life have been stolen..food,shelter, clothing.

What an Evil..Vile.. Disease Addiction is !!

I remember the fear that erupted in me.. when I would look in them..And the pleasure I feel now.. to see the sparkle back..the light..the life...xoxo

HELP ?

I have so many holes in my tongue from biting it...I am thankful I have this blog to heal it!!

Finally yesterday we get word from Dr.Matters on her report( Mental Health & Addiction) ,that we have all been, eagerly awaiting, for over a year now .

Well Folks here it is..in a nutshell.

• Dismantle the Strength program for 7 youth,Add 5 beds..announce a" New" 1 Million Dollar 12 bed long term addiction treatment center for youth.Nothing more than a slight of  hand magic trick... to make things disappear and reappear as something new

•  A New 12 bed Long Term Mental Health Treatment Center for Youth.Closing out the 4 bed unit at the hospital..add them to the New 8 beds. Another 1 Million Dollars

Total : Lucky 13..13 new beds for Addiction & Mental Health... for the thousands suffering with these diseases on our Island.

 WTF!!!!!!!!!!  

Now remember... these Facilities are still awaiting final approval and when approved will take a year to implement !

Did anyone notice ( I know you all did)..There was no announcement regarding anything..diddly squat.... for those OVER 24 !!!!!

I know we live in a disposable society..Hard to believe this also includes lives..The lives of those who have been struggling for YEARS with little to no help..except crumbs..or Jail..or death..It certainly gives them hope !! I know they would Thank-You ...from the bottom of their broken,diseased hearts !!!

I Thank-You...My son Thanks You.. For NOTHING..xoxox

Mamma's Mustard Pickle

This was a spontaneous conversation... my son initiated with me yesterday, over a pot of bubbling,aromatic, soon to be, scrumptious mustard pickles !

Have you ever been so afraid it made you sick Mamma? Hmmmm..Lucky I was stirring that pot or that wooden spoon might have accidentally hit him !!

Yes I have..And you ? 
 
Yes, I'm afraid that I have ruined my life and I'm scared It will never be the same again.

Keep stirring the pickles Mamma...
                                                                                                                                                            Well Babe... it won't ever be same..It can be better!
As long as you don't feed the fears...Just keep looking ahead..no looking back !

As we sat down later to enjoy the first taste of this seasons batch I started to giggle...

I shared with him a question I read on site somewhere ( sorry I can't remember where) The question was asked in reference to people in recovery.Can a pickle ever evolve back into a cucumber ?

Maybe not..But that cucumber,with all the right ingredients..patience and hard work..Constant stirring with the wooden spoon..Can be the best damn mustard pickle !!!

Eat up and enjoy,

My Sweet Mustard Pickle...xoxo

Just Show up

I must start this off by sharing with you all the story of yet another amazing young man in recovery.His name is Chris Cull..You may not recognize the name yet..BUT you will !! He just wrapped a 4 month Journey across our vast Country, On his Bicycle, to bring awareness To the disease of Addiction and the effects of Prescription Drug abuse,All the time filming his Journey,Meeting with families,Listening to specialists, Researching,Sharing his story of recovery,Listening to stories of others in recovery,Giving hope to those still in the grips of this horrendous disease !!

I got a chance to meet..and listen to his story last night at an event held on our gentle Island..He brought tears to my eyes.You can read about Chris here on his Facebook page, Inspire . See where he has been...what he has done..and where he goes from here in his Journey, and his work on his Film, he hopes to release,telling his story.

Now I am going to rant!!

Although the organizers of this event ( parents) had a very short time to plan and get the word out..They accomplished it masterfully and  the word was well spread.“There was a passionate group of people who attended, but I would have expected the place to be bursting at the seams considering the extent of the problem on PEI. I shouldn’t be surprised as Addiction remains a dirty little secret…stigmatized and shamed…Keeping many silent..and invisible”.

Yet..and here she goes !!!!!!!!!! I woke this morning to read on the the Facegroup groups..people complaining of no help..people are dying..not enough resources..someone has to do something !!

Ummmmm..You are all those someones !!!!!!!!

There was a room full of politicians last night at the event..perfect opportunity to share your story's....Show them we care....The people who organised the event..are the same people who ARE speaking out..Are telling their Stories..Are Pushing for more resources..More help..CHANGE!! Working hard to save our children !! With no complaints...They found their voices..They have overcome the stigma & shame..Their secrets are out...To save our children!!! They understand the strength it takes to do this..it is not easy..and not a journey many parents..the public are able..or willing to take...BUT..By god get out there and support them..show the Island..the politicians..that you are there at least..That you care what happens..They'll speak for you..YOU need to show up!! Not when a Crisis hits..Show up..keep showing up..put your support and presence behind these women!! It's all in numbers folks..We have Thousands of kids suffering..and we get maybe 30.....                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Please Please..Help educate the politicians..Help Educate the public..Help these Women that are fighting for our Children!!!!!!!!! It is so easy to dismiss an e-mail..DELETE..pay lip service..BUT when Hundreds of people show up..Support the events..Support those speaking out..That my friends cannot be dismissed !!!! That is a visual caught on camera...That is impact..That's what gets things moving..changing!!

I do show up..I will continue to show up..because even tho my son is in recovery..Many many more are not..and I will show up for them also..I will show up for YOUR child,mother,father..please do the same for my son..xoxo

International Overdose Awareness Day

This Sunday there will be many people & Organisations,  raising awareness to this increasing problem of Drug Overdoses.

Some are releasing balloons to remember loved ones they have lost. Others are having Candle Light vigils.Rally's are being held worldwide.

Because Canada does not track the stats on drug overdoses it is hard to pinpoint the exact number..The numbers according to each province across Canada indicated an astounding increase,Since 2009 of 49 percent!!

Canada is currently looking at the drug Naloxone to be more accessible  to save lives!!

Overdose is every parent's nightmare ,that has a child living with the Disease of Drug Addiction.

 In Ottawa,our Country's Capital, a rally was held today.It's message was very powerful and shows that the paths of treating Our children..In all aspects.. needs changing ! It was Shared on the CBC and hopefully people will  see what compassion..empathy..can accomplish instead of stigma and judgement!!

I am passing along the Article in hopes one.. 1..person will read it..Think next time they are about to judge our children..maybe..just maybe..have Compassion..Stand with us..Not against us!!

   

Drug overdose deaths can be curbed with compassion, ralliers say

Mamma's Rehab

* Warning*  Mamma on A Rant !!

This has been coming for awhile..I guess all the press about Robin William's..and a heart to heart with my son and a few of his friends in recovery brought it too a head..Notice I didn't say his Clean friends..I hate the word CLEAN ..We have to open our eyes people..We have an epidemic in our Province..Our Country..In North America..Yes we can blame some of it on Big Pharma..But we can also blame it on our reluctance to Change the way Drug Addiction is treated..It's not working..end of story.

We have to be willing..open to change..We can't simply say.."They didn't want recovery bad enough"..Give me a break..I have heard from many actively using.. many in recovery..that say "Their not ready"..But I have yet to hear from any say.."Guess I didn't want it bad enough."

I am no expert..far from it..But I am a Mamma of a son who lives with the disease of Addiction..I have done a ton of research...yea yea..get a life..I have a life..and I gave life ....to 2 wonderful son's..They were planned..I was ready..We made that decision..Being a parent is a life long commitment..I am not about to throw my son to wolves, because he is sick with a disease that is treatable ..I'm just not. It is a Disease of the brain..A horrendous disease..and everyone is an expert..everyone has an opinion..everyone has an answer..a cure..a treatment..The problem is..everyone's road to recovery is different..and we have to accept that !!!

There is so much Judgement in the addiction community it is literally killing our kids..instead of helping them..
When you are on medication for addiction..the 12 steppers think..and tell you..your weak..your not clean.. You don't want it bad enough...your NOT welcome at our meetings..That my friends..is BULLYING!!!

The holistic approach..you just need to cleanse your body..walk on hot coals..find your aura..take multi viatmins..but not medication..no no..Your Body and Mind can heal themselves..just relax..get refreshed..reaffirm your sobriety..and Chant..

So how's it working for ya..It's not!!!

Dr. Drew had to cancel "Celebrity Rehab" due to the inconveniently frequent suicides !!

The statistics on Successes of these programs alone..are ...low...

I love the 12 step program..yes I do..I love the 12 steps they have to go through..reflection on their addiction..Minus a few.."that they are defective"..No they are sick..they have A Disease..they are not defective!!

I love the holistic approach..I love relaxation..eating healthy..exercise..spiritual awakening's..BUT..If I need Medication..For depression..for addiction..for diabetes..for Cancer..I'm bloodly well gonna take it!!!

SOoooooooooooo..Why can't we just have a rehab that offers everything..there's a novel Idea..lets Just treat The F* ing Disease with everything we got!! All in one place..All supporting each other..Offer 12 step..offer Holistic..Offer prescribed medication..Offer psychotherapy..Offer empathic Staff..Offer whatever and everything it takes to help our kids..no judgement..No Bullying..Just recovery from Addiction..Mental Illness. We have been going backwards..instead we need to move forward by opening our minds..Our Hearts..To NEW ways of treating Addiction..what have we got to lose ??? Our Kids ???

O Captain! My Captain!

The first time I saw Robin Williams in a serious Movie was the,      " Dead Poets Society", where he read Walt Whitman's Poem ..It is fitting today... as Walt wrote this poem as a farewell to Abraham Lincoln..a Poem of farewell..of mourning..

I grew up watching Robin..first in Mork and Mindy..and I was hooked..he made me laugh so hard..and yet..there always something dark..sorrowful..haunting about him..It wasn't until much later..when he became a big star and I watched an Interview he did with Larry King.

In this interview he talked about his demons..his depression..his addictions to alcohol..to drugs..that I understood what I saw.he talked openly and honestly..sharing his story with the world.

He will missed..by soo many people..I will miss his humor..the from the bottom of toes to the top of head laughs that he brought out in me..his serious side..I will miss him..

I only hope..like all the Mamma's out there..that his death will bring more awareness to our children's battles with their own demons...the need for more help..treatment..understanding..destigmazing these diseases of Depression and Addiction..wake up people..O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells

Rest in peace Robin Williams..Your fearful trip is done..xo

Mary

Mary was a Mamma just like many of us..led down the path of addiction with her son..It is a family disease..we do get just as sick as our children..Please.. if you are struggling with a loved ones addiction..get help..be it another parent..so you wont feel alone..be it a support group..or professional help..better yet all 3!!

Mary decided she could no longer walk this path..she took her life..not what we expect to hear..we expect to read about her child..but not the parent..Broke my heart when I heard this..right to the core..She belonged to an online group for family's with loved ones suffering with addiction..she advocated..she loved her son..obviously she suffered more than anyone knew..Please reach out if your feeling helpless !!!

I joined a group a few weeks ago..NOT on addiction..BUT..It always comes up in some form or another..I was sickened by the names my son..and others who live with disease of addiction were called!!! The public does not get it..We need to educate them more.. We need to fight for better treatment...we need to find our voices and speak up..for our children..We need to stay strong and not let ignorant people keep us down..It will kill us !! Just as it is killing our loved ones!!

Give you son/daughter a hug..tell them you love them..they are in there somewhere in the grimy hands of addiction..then get help for you..You need to stay healthy !! The best thing we can do for our loved ones is get healthy..get on our recovery..if not..addiction wins!! F$%^..I hate addiction !!! What good are we to our children if we stay as sick as they are ????

I no longer give a Ratzzz Azzzz what other people think of me..or my son..he is sick..Who gives up on a sick child ???

I am not going to be another statistic..I am not going to be let the publics perception of my son..or me..Bully..shame.. stigmatize ...keep me prisoner in my home.. Quelle my voice....ever again !!!

My deepest sympathies to Mary's Family..huggggs
Mary ...I hope you have found peace...xo

Transition & James Dean

It has not been a smooth ride .. This Transition home...for both us and our son..A week of ups and downs.

As the week comes to an end so does the life of a special man in my life.
He was my anchor,my protector in my early years growing up in the midst of addiction.

He was like a white knight riding in on his horse to swoop me up and lift me out of the chaos...and drop me into the simple life of a farm..a busy life full of chores and laughter..surrounded always by the love of my Dad's Family..He used to come and say..Vacation time Kiddo..pack your things.. I had many many vacation days at the farm..I had no Idea what chaos was going on at home..he protected me from that in my early years..He also gave me my first dog..who lived to be 21 !!

He was so Handsome..A James Dean look-a-like..jet black hair and eyes as blue as the sea.

He is my Father's younger brother..My Favorite Uncle..

He was a Bad Boy..like my son..but I never saw that side of him.It's funny how the heart responds to someone who has been so special to you,you overlook that side..I was always happy to see him..no matter what turmoil his own life was in..and he was always same with me..We had a special bond. We actually have sons the same age.. So he was always my Big brother..That is the kind of bond we have.I am so lucky to have such a big family on my Dad's side..As I was the oldest Niece..we all grew up together..what seemed like years between us when I was a wee one..grew increasingly smaller as we grew older..so instead of Uncles & Aunts..they are now my brothers and sisters.

His days are running out of hours.. His own Transition from this world to the next has begun...He knows how special he always was to me..and will always be..no matter where he is..


Over these past 5 years with my son's struggle, I longed for him to swoop in..and say.."vacation Time Kiddo". But Life happens..We grow up..

Love you.My James Dean..xoxoxox 

Update : Fight is over..peace and a party as he rejoins his siblings and parents waiting for him with open arms, that passed from this world to the next before him...July/06/2014


 

The Homecoming

Today is the day...After 6 weeks in treatment,my son is coming home.I missed him...of course I have missed the man/boy he used to be, since Addiction stole him away.Even tho I have seen glimpses of him over the years,these past 3 weeks I have heard my funny,loving,kind son more than I ever have.

I am hopeful he has picked up more knowledge,more strength,more self-esteem to continue his journey in recovery on a more solid path.

One of things he has talked about is strategic planning.This is something he has never done before.His only pre-planning was "When the cats away,the monster will come out to play".This is a good sign !

It is also a good sign that "I" will not get in his way.It is his recovery.I will sit on the sidelines and cheer him on, continue to Support & Advocate.

Today is a good Day...xoxo